'Tis the season..

I keep coming back to this topic every year. The total lack of christmas spirit. And I work my ass off every year just to try and get some kind of warm feeling into both my messed up mind as well as my aching body. But to no avail.

Some might say that the fact that I'm single has anything to do with it. Or the fact that I don't have kids. Well, I've encountered the lack of holiday spirit even before I turned single, and I don't really need my own kids when I have the most adorable, crazy, funny whirlwinds called nieces and nephews, who makes sure that the christmas spirit is fully represented this time of year.

And yes, my line of work renders the term "calm and collected" pretty much useless during Christmas. I'm all over the place, all the time, and being the CEO of an expanding company adds the "joy" of more paperwork and planning to my already hectic schedule.

And maybe I need to cut down on the coffe, and maybe I should just hire someone to do all my work, and maybe I need to calm things down a bit, and maybe I should do that, and this, and..

...you know what? It's not the Christmas feeling I'm looking for.

Because the definition of Christmas I used to cling to disappeared as soon as I agreed to spend every weekend on stage. So holidays for normal people will always be an opportunity to work for me, and everyone in this industry.

No, what I'm really looking for is the moment in time when I don't have to have a suitcase standing by all the time. It might be a couple of centuries before that happens, and I probably won't regret a single second on the road, but when I can put the suitcase away and not worry about whether there's time to wash my clothes for the next trip, or even if I have enough time to meet my friends and family. That day will be Christmas to me. Hell, I might even have a descent beard, dress myself in red furry clothes and laugh at everything and nothing by then.

But until then Christmas will be another season where I live my life through other people's dreams and perceptions.

I miss you NOLA.

See you soon..